Thursday, October 11, 2007

Holidays

Ok, so my end-term exam is finally over. That's practically why I havn't been posting for a very long time. Sorry about that. Anyway, we are given a 1 week + break, 11 days to be exact due to the coming Hari Raya. So, I guess I should be cheering and feeling all relieved. Right. But am I ?

Lets do some flashbacks, shall we? So, during the past holidays, from after SPM which is December last year till June this year, what have I done? Lets see, besides work, and work, and more work at Jaya Jusco for the first 2 months and later Kumon till now...what else did I do? Hmm, I also went for St John Youth Camp on June and joined the State Level First Aid and Foot Drill Competition on March ( not boasting or anything, haha ) ....what else.... gosh, I can't remember. Did I even spend any time with my friends? Oh yah, I remember that Genting trip with my classmates, which turned out disastrous and I believe those who went knows why. Sigh. The later trip to Genting again with my Competition team was so much better but wasn't very great either due to non-disclose-able reasons. Yes, I guess you find it stupid to actually visit Genting twice a year. I think so too but nevertheless, I went.

So, that's basically what I did during my holidays. I don't know about you guys, but I think my holiday sucks. Yes, my holiday sucks. I don't know why but mainly I think its because I didn't spend much 'enjoyable' time with my friends. Let me ask any of my ex-La Sallian classmates who happens to read this, how many class gatherings were held after SPM? Ok, there was one at Teck Han's house, which only involve Chinese and later another BBQ party at Fan Di's where only about 10 people attended? I don't recall 5ST1 having only Chinese students or worst, only 10 students in the class? Even with my amnesia, I think there was about 30+ with a mix of Chinese, Malay and Indian, right? Conclusion, 'successful' class gathering held till this day, Zero.

Well, its not like I'm blaming anybody here because I, myself is to blame either. In fact, I'm really thankful to those who tried really hard to gather each and every one of us. I guess its really tough because if I did not recall wrongly, there was some stiff class politics and even some slight racial discrimination happening throughout the year. Oops, I should have kept my lips sealed. Bah, who cares?

And whenever I flip through my friends' profiles in friendster, just looking through their pictures, there is usually a sense of jealousy in me or rather a sense of disappointment in myself. I'm always looking at pictures of other people having fun with their friends at various places and various events. And when I look at my own profile, boring. Well, I don't know if its because I seldom take pictures when hanging out with friends causing me to fail to reminisce any good times whenever hanging out with my friends, if there is even any, but I just get this fuzzy feeling in me. Why is everyone having so much fun and I'm here sitting at this empty house all alone turning into a potato couch? It really makes me feel like a lonely kid not able to lead a happy and joyful teenager's lifestyle. It's as though I'm wasting my teenage years while the time is ticking with no mercy.

Oh well, I guess I'm just not feeling the 'love' from my friends or whatsoever. Yes, I know I have some very good friends out there but, I don't know, maybe its just a personal issue. When I see a group of friends having some jolly good time, I will feel this sudden loneliness in me although I'm not sure why. Do everybody feel this way or is it just me? I don't know. I guess I'm just not really satisfied with my life now. High expectations you say? I don't know. Maybe. Sigh. Sad, huh?

Anyway, I hope that this coming holiday will be very well spent. I don't want to spend any more time turning into a potato couch. I hope a successful 5ST1 gathering will be held very soon. Can't wait for my current class vacation too. I wonder where will 6B2 be heading? Haha. Oh well, doesn't really matter as long as it does not involve Genting and we can have fun.

So sorry you had to read this boring, emo, and crappy ramblings of mine.
Happy holidays to you and hopefully to me too!

Choppy,
-emo-
-hopeful-

3 comments:

VîñSërñ said...

oh well, u should know that being in form5 is totally different with form6..chillex, form6 communities will be much much better =) im starting to have fun with every f6 frens

if u have so much time to think about how unwell ur class have been and holiday is going on, think twice. u might not achieve good results last year if u were somehow have fun with frens nonstop.
and my class' worse, alot alot worse that i didn't wanna even have gatherings with them anymore..= =

P/S :: we never only need holidays to have fun u noe?

Anonymous said...

U shud ask how many gatherings that you DIDNT AND CANNOT MAKE IT.
Oh wait. U WERE TOO BUSY!

Choppy said...

tat's the thing..study too much until didn't have fun >.< study so much oso no use...now stuck in form 6 xD but still glad la cos study form 6 can meet alot nice ppl ^^ anyway thx for caring~

err kar hing, i tink the other gatherings were just the same..not a complete one ? i just named a few more significant ones haha xD no offence =P