Today is Xmas. Felt very excited to see everyone's happy faces when they unwrap their gifts. Got the new camera ready to snap everyone's happy faces so that I could blog it up here and feel proud. I gave my brother his gift first. He was busy preparing to return to Johor soon so he just held it while packing his stuff. Gave my sister hers. Things turned ugly. She opened it - a beanie - and started shouting. No, it was not shouts of joy or bliss but ironically, shouts of rage and anger.
This is not what I wanted!
You bought this for yourself!
You bought this for yourself!
You all never buy anything I wanted!
She ran over to open my brother's gift - a NBC tissue box holder. She demanded to exchange gifts with my bro. I tried and I tried, repeatedly saying I bought this with my own work money, please appreciate it. She insisted on changing and started shouting the same lines above. She slammed her door in rage. My cheeks felt wet.
Now, the beanie is somewhere in the living room. My brother is back to Johor, leaving the tissue box holder on his bed. I sat on my bed, with tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking 'Where had I gone wrong'? All I wanted to do was to celebrate a merry Xmas with my family and this is what I get? Screams of fury? Even though, I had never receive presents from any of my siblings, as far as I can remember, but still I try so hard to let everyone relive the experience and the excitement of opening a nicely-wrapped mysterious gift. I just don't know what else I can do for this family anymore, especially my sister. Xmas spirit? To hell with that. Xmas in me is dead. Period.
Yah, so that was practically how everything turned out. How my 'jolly' 'merry' Xmas crashed and burned. How my 1st time experience in buying Xmas gifts for my family turned out solemn. How my efforts in spreading some Xmas spirit and joy in my family got 'rewarded' with tears of disappointment and hopelessness. And everything turned from bliss to gloom just like that.
My tears are dripping out again as I type this post. How I wish I could talk to someone right now. But who to in this lonely, foreign house?
Choppy,
-Devastated-
-Lonely-
She ran over to open my brother's gift - a NBC tissue box holder. She demanded to exchange gifts with my bro. I tried and I tried, repeatedly saying I bought this with my own work money, please appreciate it. She insisted on changing and started shouting the same lines above. She slammed her door in rage. My cheeks felt wet.
Now, the beanie is somewhere in the living room. My brother is back to Johor, leaving the tissue box holder on his bed. I sat on my bed, with tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking 'Where had I gone wrong'? All I wanted to do was to celebrate a merry Xmas with my family and this is what I get? Screams of fury? Even though, I had never receive presents from any of my siblings, as far as I can remember, but still I try so hard to let everyone relive the experience and the excitement of opening a nicely-wrapped mysterious gift. I just don't know what else I can do for this family anymore, especially my sister. Xmas spirit? To hell with that. Xmas in me is dead. Period.
Yah, so that was practically how everything turned out. How my 'jolly' 'merry' Xmas crashed and burned. How my 1st time experience in buying Xmas gifts for my family turned out solemn. How my efforts in spreading some Xmas spirit and joy in my family got 'rewarded' with tears of disappointment and hopelessness. And everything turned from bliss to gloom just like that.
My tears are dripping out again as I type this post. How I wish I could talk to someone right now. But who to in this lonely, foreign house?
Choppy,
-Devastated-
-Lonely-
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