Saturday, April 3, 2010

Finally

我不是你想像那么勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场

Yesterday finally had the chance to go back home after a long emotional week. Have been thinking and haunted by lots of things for the past week. Could hardly catch my breath anymore. I really need a short break from everything that is happening around me. Since I entered UM, this was the first time I felt truly glad that I was able to return home; to meet my family and just hangout with some old friends.

I was lying on my bed yesterday night while listening to some songs. Everything felt very comfortable and relaxed. But soon problems begin popping in my mind. And it finally happened. After god-knows how many years, tears begin to roll out of my eyes. I cried. I cried my heart out like I've never cried before. Everytime a problem flashed across my mind, I cried even harder as though to flush it away. But I was thinking why? After such a long time, and out of all places and time, why did I have to cry now?

I guess the answer was simple. I'm finally back to a place I'm comfortable with. A place where no one can watch and criticize me. A place where I can let my guard done and stop being defensive. Then I realize, behind the confident and cheerful face that I show people outside, I'm just a little kid inside, unprepared for the big bad world out there.

让我放下武装像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上

p.s. I've tried my best, but is best enough?

Choppy,
-Tired-



4 comments:

kk said...

dear boy.....
come to your mom when you're tired
i can relax u physically or mentally or se*ually!

西门 said...

May be you just need someone to share. Do not keep everything unhappy, you will feel much relieved if you speak out.

♥ Yichun ♥ said...

Let's hug together and cry. I am feeling the same thing.

Anonymous said...

每个人都有属于他本身的面具。。一个人可能在不同情况下拥有不同的面具。。表面开心,坚强,开朗。。。但实际上内心却是孤单,脆弱。。伤心,生气却不能表达不满,因为身边的人已经习惯之前的你,酱反而有时让自己觉得保持忍静,开心,笑容反而是一种背负。。。让自己觉得自己活得很假,很累。。。
如果可以,你可以和一些你愿意信任的朋友,分享,表达你内心的想法。。。生气就生气出来。。。想哭就大大声哭出来。。
只要有酱的空间你才会觉得自己活得不会虚伪。。因为至少还可以在某些朋友面前表露出最真实的自己~……………^^